The Dark Side of Lightwork

Sept. 27, 2018

I found Reiki in 2010 as a pathway for helping me heal depression and anxiety.  The energy work, training and understanding that came from this amazing healing modality was exactly what I needed in order to find parts of myself I never even knew existed.  I was open and on a mission to share this modality with as many people as I could possibly reach.  My motto was, everyone should be trained in Reiki!

As the years progressed, my practice grew and I felt the joy of being aligned with my purpose for the first time in my life.  I’m not exactly sure when it started, but it wasn’t long before I began feeling very drained.  My weight was fluctuating, I found myself craving salt and sugar, and my patience with my family wearing thin.  All sure signs that I was stressed.  But stressed about what?  I was living everything I had dreamed would bring me joy and happiness.  I increased my self care practices and that seemed to help immensely, but I couldn’t get away from the feeling that something had to change.

The more my practice grew, the more drained I felt.  I would teach a Reiki Training class, come home, eat a bunch of crap and get in bed with my head under the covers.  This is not what I was just teaching to my students.  I truly believed that Reiki energy comes through you and your energy should not be draining at all.  Why was I feeling this way?

I know our main job as healers is to focus on love and light, but if we deny the dark side, it secretly sabotages our reality.  Lightworkers want to share and help heal the world, this motivation drives them everyday.  In order to succeed at our mission, we need to look deeply at our own darkness and not get lost there. Being human in our current reality comes with a set of needs to be met - we need to feel loved, we need to feel worthy and we need to feel secure.  When we begin to share our gifts with the world before we truly find healing in these areas, we will ultimately find that these needs will begin to interfere with how we deliver our services.

I had set up my life to financially depend on my business as a Lightworker.  I was also feeling a sense of belonging that I had never felt because I was able to assist so many people. I was actually “successful” at something for the first time.  All of these subconscious beliefs and needs were driving me to drain my own life-force energy to sustain the business.  I needed to face fears on a deeper level then ever before, let go of my practice and have faith that my needs would be met by Spirit.

Through this most recent expansion, I've have had to heal my financial fears, my need to belong and learn to honor my needs in ways that I never realized was even possible.  I’ve had re-set my intentions to know that alingment with Spirit brings me more joy then any egoic comforts ever could.  I've actually found my boundaries. I know the limits I need to put on myself, in my friendships, with my family and with my cleints.


5 Suggestions for Doing Business as a Lightworker:


  1. Invest in yourself. Work on yourself more then you work on others. Lightworkers have a tendency to exit the harsh realities of being human. We need to stay in our bodies and become present, even amongst the pain. Have a consistent and committed meditation and mindfulness practice.
  2. Don’t place your financial needs on your business.  Try to keep your expenses to a minimum and your savings at a maximum.  I know the Law of Attraction gets everyone believing their going to win the lottery, but Lightworkers are often happiest as minimalists. One of my lessons was realizing that much of what I was spending money on was just helping me ease the stress I felt from not facing my truth.  Keeping it as simple as possible will allow you to align with your greatest service.
  3. Build a structure to flow with you.  As you expand and grow, make sure your business can move with you.  Create it with as little dependency on others as possible. For example, I built my business around The Barn, but found that I might want to move at some point.  Now I have it set to do both. As much as possible, build a strucutre that can change. 
  4. Be willing to face truth.  Service to others should not include sacrificing your needs. Spirit guides you towards your true mission with joy, if you are not feeling joy in your practice, have enough faith to move on.  And yes, when you stand in your truth, some of the people in your world will not like it.  That’s ok, you’re doing them a favor even if they can’t see it yet.
  5. Are you programmed? The energetic matrix of our current world drives us towards distruction.  We are energetically programmed to stay in the state of desiring more from our external world.  Look into the programs you are buying into around service, family, work, status and power.  We are getting totally manipulated to stay in fear.  Be brave enough to exit The 3D Matrix!

Today, I have found more freedom and joy in the work I am offering to others.  I share my gifts from a palce of Empowerment and knowing that I have chosen Spirits plan above my fearful human needs.  Making these changes are scary, necessary and so completly worth it in the end! 

Sending so much Light, Love and Empowerment,


Breaking the Matrix is no joke.  If you're a Lightworker in need of assisance in breaking through the barriers to reach your true service to this world, my private session are designed to help you work through the blocks.  I've also designed A Course in Light Mastery to assist Lightworkers in moving through the barries within themselves and deepen their understanding of the energy flow.